Here’s a couple things you need to know about me if we ever meet.
I hate dead fish, limp dick handshakes.
I also hate hugging air.
I grew up with firm handshakes and tight, I’m-gonna-squeeze-you to-death hugs.
Now, im not saying I have the firmest handshake on the planet, but I think I have a pretty good one. A handshake is very important. If you’ve got a good grip and a strong shake, to me, it means you mean serious business and that you’re very sincere. If you shake my hand and it feels like you’ve just handed me a cold, dead fish? That shit just wigs me out big time and I retreat as quickly, yet politely, as humanly possible.
As for hugs, well….some people that know me really well, know that I do not react well to the surprise hugs, especially from people I don’t know that well. I refer to these as run-by-huggings. I’ve even had people get excited about something and warn me ahead of time. By ahead of time, I mean a 10 second warning.
It’s not that I dont like hugging, it’s just that, well…we just met and Hello, you’ve just invaded my personal bubble. However, I will brace for impact.
But when I DO hug people, it’s full of love and affection, so i’m gonna squeeze you to death. I think I did this to David Michael Bennett at 2013 anime midwest.
When hugged by Michael Reed at the same event, I commented on how I heard he gave great hugs, he said “Oh, I dont know about that”, and proceeded to squeeze the hell out of me. I returned the favor, because that’s just how I hug people, and he squeezed again. It was like a silent hug-o-war. I think he won though.
So if I hug you, i’m not gonna just jump on you. I’m gonna make sure it’s okay first. And when I do, I want to feel you return the hug, even if you’re the small squeeze type of hugger. Also, don’t be afraid if you feel like im never gonna let go. Just let go and so will I.
So, I guess maybe all this means is that when I do these things, it’s an indicator that I care deeply? Or maybe it’s because I was raised by a strong woman that raised 3 children, practically on her own. I hug people the way she hugged me. Tight, like the fate of the world depended on it.
As if that one hug could shelter you from harm and show you just how much I cared and tell you that you mean the world to me. That you are so very, very important to me. That’s what her hugs felt like to me.
So I guess…Love big or go home.
And leave the limp dick hands in your pants(pockets)